离别 (Just Knowing It’s Farewell) — Shirley Shuhan Ye

       一生,有太多的离别,时间从不会允许我们重头来过,命运也总是让我们无从躲避

       2018年7月25日 ,改变了我对整个世界的看法。年幼时,我永远无法感同身受电视剧里的生离死别,总是觉得那些离我很遥远。直到照顾我长大的姥爷永远地离开我后,我第一次感受到人的弱小。

       那晚,我们在姥爷家吃晚饭,商量第二天的行程,就在夜深人静的凌晨,姥爷毫无征兆地去世了。妈妈跟我说就算姥爷当时在医院,也无法抢救。医生到最后也没能查出病因,一种强烈的无助感涌上我心头。突如其来的变故,让我的内心感受到了强烈的冲击,因为害怕,我没有给姥爷送行。晚上我躺在床上,望着天花板,陷入了沉思——刚学会走路的我从来不会害怕摔跤,因为我知道,姥爷永远会在身后保护我;妈妈训斥我的时候,我脑海里第一个念头就是奔向姥爷;五子棋、围棋、象棋、扑克牌…… 这些技能全是姥爷教会我的;我学骑自行车翻车的时候,姥爷为了保护我,磕伤了自己的腿;姥爷每天带着老花镜,开心的和朋友斗地主,还有认真抢红包的样子真的很可爱;我小时候不懂事的叫姥爷大名,妈妈说他们小时候这样都会被姥爷训斥,但姥爷却笑着对我说没事。想到这里,我的眼睛里蒙了一层雾水。往事还历历在目,当时总觉得姥爷还在我的身边,可慢慢的,我发现,姥爷永远不会再回来了,那个宠溺我的姥爷永远都不在了。我才意识到,那一晚既是永别。表面上,时间慢慢抚平了我对姥爷的思念,可每当看到与姥爷年龄相仿的老人、每当我遇到困难,我都会想到那个慈祥的老人。现在,我真的很后悔没有好好珍惜和姥爷的时光,回忆过去总会有一些想去弥补的事情。

       别时容易见时难,流水落花春去也,天上人间。我成为了那个例外,您也永远是我心中的唯一。

There are too many partings in a lifetime, time will never allow us to start over, and destiny will always make us unable to escape.

   25/7/2018 changed my view of the whole world. When I was young, I could never empathize with life and death in fictional stories. I always felt that they were far away from me. It wasn’t until my grandfather, who watched me grow up left us forever, that made me feel the sad of human weakness for the first time.

     On the evening of the incident, we had dinner at grandpa’s house and discussed our schedule for the next day, but in the tranquility of dawn, he passed away without warning. Mother told me that even if grandpa was in the hospital, there was no way to rescue him, since the doctor could not find the cause of his illness, a strong sense of helplessness surged into my heart. The sudden incident gave it a fatal blow. Because of the fear inside me, I did not go to his viewing. At night I was lying in bed, looking at the ceiling, lost in thought- I was never afraid of falling when I was just learning to walk, because I knew that grandpa would always have my back; when my mother scolded me, rushing to grandpa was always the first thought in my brain; gobang, go, chess, poker… These skills were all taught to me by grandpa; when I learned to ride a bicycle, he scraped his leg in order to protect me; grandpa wore reading glasses every day, happily playing cards with his friends, and earnestly grabbing red envelopes on his phone. It’s really cute; and the fact that I accidentally called him by his full name when I was ignorant and little. My mother said that she would always get scolded for doing that by grandpa when she was little, however my grandfather just laughed. He told me it was okay. Thinking of this, my eyes blurred. The past is still vivid, and I always felt that my grandfather was still by my side, but slowly, I discovered that my grandpa would never come back again, and that grandpa who spoiled me would never be there. I just knew that that night was a farewell. On the surface, time slowly calmed down my longing for my grandfather, but whenever I saw an old man who was about the same age as my grandpa, whenever I encountered difficulties, I would think of that kind old man. Now, I really regret not cherishing my time with him enough. There are always times in my memory that I want to make up for.

     It’s easy to part ways but it’s hard to meet again. I became the exception, and you will always be the only one in my heart.

叶书含/ Shirley Shuhan Ye
E Block, Southfield, Rugby School Thailand

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