sugak Time is like a horse passing by, so it’s fleeting. You lose it before you have time to cherish it. Looking back, there were only some beautiful memories, which makes us linger on to them.
What made me truly feel that time was changing was my return to China on this occasion. Because of Covid, I did not return to China for a whole year, nor did I meet with my mother for a whole year. When I first saw her as I returned to China, I felt an emotion that I had never come across before. It was very complicated. It contained wistfulness and happiness, but I think it was more melancholy. My mother is nearly sixty, but I never felt that she was old before, because she always takes care of everything alone, washing and cooking…. she has never complained about being tired or not, and even gave me the illusion that she will never grow old, but this time as I saw her, looking at her face for a long time like i’ve never seen it before, wrinkles, age spots, these traces of time appeared one by one on her face, like I don’t even know her anymore! Can one year, just one year, really bring such a big change to a person? Even if I want to deny it, a living example is right in front of me. At that moment, I admitted with a sigh that she really was old. This emotion filled my heart. I wanted to cry, but no tears wanted to flow down.
Maybe every kid had slowly learned to understand and tolerate. Understanding that people will eventually grow old, and to tolerate that everyone will change.
In the second week after returning to China, the head teacher in my prep school called everyone in our class and our parents to organize a reunion party. I was very excited at first, but when I got there, everyone sat on their chairs silently, checking each other out, and when their eyes met, they just smiled awkwardly. Occasionally I would provoke some topic, but it ended very quickly as we just can’t carry on the conversation anymore. I was very upset, thinking that they have all changed, but are they really the ones who changed? When I walked into the restaurant, their parents said that I had changed, become taller, and become more handsome. At first, I sneered, thinking that it was just a polite remark, but slowly I realized that maybe I really did change. But It’s not just getting taller or more handsome…
I have rarely contacted them since then because everyone will change with time, will become different, and time also will change along with us.
时间如同白驹过隙，一瞬即逝，还没来得及珍惜就已然失去，慕然回首，只剩一串串美好的回忆，让人流连忘返。
让我真实的感受到时间在变化的是这次回中国，因为疫情，我一年没有回到中国，也整整一年没有和我母亲见面。在见到她的第一眼，就有种以前从未有过的感情，这份感情很复杂，里面包含着思念，开心，但我想更多的是惆怅吧。我妈已经近六十了，但我从来没感觉她已经老了，因为她总是一个人把所有事都包揽，洗衣做饭。没有抱怨过累不累，甚至使我产生了她永远不会老的错觉，可这次见到她，我前所未有的盯着她的脸看了好久，皱纹，老年斑，这些岁月的痕迹一 一出现在了她的脸上，我甚至都不认识她了！一年，短短一年真的能给人带来这么大的变化吗？会吗？会吧，即使我想否定但活生生的例子就在我面前。那一刻，我感叹到她真的老了，这种情绪充斥在我的心头，我想哭，但却欲哭无泪。
也许曾经的小孩最终也慢慢学会理解和包容了吧，理解人终会老去，包容每个人都会变。
回到中国的第二个星期，小学时的班主任把我们班所有人和家长叫来，组织了一次聚会。我一开始很兴奋，但当我去了之后，每个人坐在椅子上沉默不语，互相用眼神打量着对方，当视线碰上的时候，只是尴尬一笑，偶尔我会挑起话题，但很快也就聊不下去了。我很不高兴，认为他们都变了，但变的人真的是他们吗？当我走进餐厅，每个家长都说我变了，变的更高，变的更帅，一开始我嗤之以鼻，以为那只是客套话，但慢慢的我发现也许变的人其实是我，只是不是变高变帅… 从那以后我很少在去联系他们了，因为每个人都会随着时间而改变，变的不同。时间也会随着我们而改变。
E Block, Town House, Rugby School Thailand
